That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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