Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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