so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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