a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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