everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
