We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
