So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
