I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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