how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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