What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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