she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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