Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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