I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
