i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
