you guys were way drunker than both of me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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