I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
