btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
