By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
