Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
