you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
