Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
