he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
