Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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