worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
