so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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