Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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