You made me cry and you don't even care
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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