You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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