For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
