Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We got so high we made milksteak
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
