is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
