how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
