Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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