Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
