I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
