remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
