You're my little dorito
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
