I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
