The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
