what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
