I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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