she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
