Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
