do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
