this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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