I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
