So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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