We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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