I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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