Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
