When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
